Discovering my identity as a scientist

by Tyler A. Allen | NC State University, College of Veterinary Medicine | 

[dropcap]M[/dropcap]y journey into science was a seemingly unexpected yet inevitable one. I am the first person in my family to venture into the field of science as a career. I have always had a keen interest for science, particularly biology. Learning how life originates and functions was akin to discovering a new world to me. I remember I would get lost looking at the many specimens – cheek cells, amoebas, and plants – that I examined under the microscope during my middle school biology classes. I was awestruck at how interesting these lifeforms were at the microscopic and cellular level, and found beauty in how complex they were. This sparked my lifelong interest in the study of life, and led me towards a path of questioning and discovery.

Although most of my life I was drawn to science, I did have doubts about whether this was the right choice for me.

I was quite the inquisitive child, to the point where some found it agonizing how inquisitive I was. However, this same trait helps me succeed in my work today. This is because science is all about asking questions and critically thinking to test these queries, often leading to amazing discoveries.

Tyler Allen

Although neither of my parents were scientists by training, I was taught to formulate questions effectively, especially by my mother. She would always encourage my brothers and me to think about problems and questions as tangible creations that could be manipulated and uncovered with the power of our minds. This type of encouragement led to a mindset that perfectly complimented my innate interest for science. In high school, excelled in my biology courses and quickly realized this was the field I wanted to pursue.

Although most of my life I was drawn to science, I did have doubts about whether this was the right choice for me. Growing up in a low-income single-parent household, my exposure to scientists was limited. I often wondered why most scientists I saw on television and movies looked nothing like me. Even as I entered college and began to develop as a budding scientist I was still insecure about my self-image in science. I eventually started participating in research in a laboratory, but would vehemently deny my status as a scientist. Anytime my family or friends would refer to me as a scientist (even jokingly), I would quickly deny this and brush it off with nervous laughter. In my mind, I wasn’t really a scientist, I was just playing dress-up and putting on a lab coat. The researchers I worked for and other members in the lab were scientists. But not me.  A combination of not having any scientists in my family nor many science role models that looked like me had tainted the image of myself as a scientist.

A combination of not having any scientists in my family nor many science role models that looked like me had tainted the image of myself as a scientist.

This all changed during my junior year as I joined a National Institutes of Health (NIH)-funded program at my university. This program was called the Initiative for Maximizing Student Diversity (IMSD), and its purpose was to increase the number of students from underrepresented backgrounds who go on to earn PhDs. This program changed the way I thought about not only science and research, but it also helped redefine how I viewed scientists. Through this program, I was exposed to a plethora of successful scientists who looked like me, and I began to discover my identity. My thoughts truly came to a turning point during an IMSD program which focused on a concept known as the impostor syndrome. This syndrome occurs when high-achieving people doubt their talents and fail to internalize their accomplishments, ultimately feeling like an impostor. We had a senior scientist, who was a woman of color, come and tell us about her journey and how she too once had doubts about her image as a scientist. She went on to explain that she overcame these doubts by realizing her potential and accepting that her accomplishments as a scientist were due to her brilliance.

Hearing this story from a successful academic scientist gave me the courage to redefine the image I had of myself. After struggling with my identity as a scientist for years, I was finally determined to accept that I was indeed a scientist, and a talented one at that. I began to change the way I saw myself, and my success in research only further strengthened my newfound scientific confidence. I hope that I can serve as a role model for other young students, so that they can embrace their potential in science, or whichever field they are drawn to. Now when I am asked by students, family members, and friends: Tyler, what are you? I confidently answer I am a scholar, a biologist, a scientist, and you can be too!

Tyler Allen is currently a 3rd Year PhD Student in Comparative Biomedical Science at NC State University, College of Veterinary Medicine. 

Featured Image titled “test tubes” is by r. nial bradshaw  from Flickr | Some rights reserved

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