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The Humbug Scientist

Camille McIntyre: No research, animal care, education, or science anything occupation seemed to want me. Internships didn’t want me, not even for free.  Retail stores didn’t seem to want me either. My period of unemployment made me question everything about myself. Was I as intelligent or as skilled as everyone thought I was?

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– Camille McIntyre, M.A. –

[su_boxbox title=”About” box_color=”#262733″]Camille is a budding scientist interested in research as well as science communication and media. She is also an artist and dreams of fusing her two passions together some day. She hopes to pursue a PhD.  She is currently working at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum as an animal maintainer, providing care for the animals there and running educational programs for children.  She can be reached via LinkedIn or on Twitter @jivechameleon.[/su_boxbox]

[su_boxnote note_color=”#bfc4af”]Story Key Points

  • Everyone has doubts
  • Do not let fear freeze you
  • Appreciate the opportunities and options you have[/su_boxnote]

[dropcap]U[/dropcap]p in Vermont, in its own little green bubble, is a liberal-art school called Bennington College. I like to think of it as a magic-less Hogwarts. Every student graduates with strong opinions about the type of education they received and very vivid experiences. Yet, any descriptions tend to pale to reality and mystify others.

What I can and hope to make you understand is that Bennington, for me at least, was an

Camille McIntyre

institution that prided itself as a place for the proactive multi-tasker. We were encouraged to specialize not in one, but multiple things and to use those things to make a better world. I had a friend who majored in chemistry/ceramics and spent weekends blowing up clay with different concoctions. I had another friend who majored in cell biology/painting and used their sample slides as inspiration for their art pieces. Finally, there was me, who majored in animal behavior/biology/animation.  I was a student split in two, but that made me and my fellow academics unique.

When I was about to graduate with my lab experiences and my artistic passions, I think a part of me thought I could do anything. I wasn’t worried about my year off and the possibility of getting a gig under a suffering job market. I worried mostly about completing my two senior projects – my science project and my educational science animation. I figured the time off would do me good because I could take a much-needed break and get a job in my field.

I should have known something was wrong then because I considered work the safe option over grad school.  I remember feeling deeply afraid of wavering. There were a lot of options I could take in biology. I didn’t want spend years specializing in what I thought I wanted only to find that I was miserable and too old to go anywhere else. I don’t remember how, but I was already convinced that there was a time limit if I wanted a science career and I had to be careful.

So, when I graduated in June and I stayed jobless for months, I found myself depressed by my inability to move forward.

I met single parents, young mothers, recent GED students, red-eye shift workers, elderly seniors, and everything far and in-between. They all had one thing in common…

At those times, I would think about my parents who paid for my tuition. I would think about all the advisors that supported me at Bennington. I would then think hard about Ethel.

Dr. Ethel Tobach was a brilliant woman at the American Museum of Natural History. I worked with her for throughout my high school career and continued to help from time to time up to after my undergraduate years. She was the first person to teach me about ethology and comparative psychology. She was my entry point to real research and the first female scientist I really had contact with. She told me often that, as a woman in the still quite patriarchal profession, I need to toughen up and be fearless in what I wanted. She would scold when I didn’t look her in the eye or sat too quiet out of respect for the adults in the room.

She believed in me. Bennington seemed to believe in me. My family did too. Why else would they give their time?

However, knowing this only made things worse because I began to think I failed them. That I had wasted everyone’s time and my own. That was I like the great OZ, a humbug wizard that through luck alone fooled others that he had grand powers. That everything I accomplished was either a mistake or an accident. I tried to be careful, but I still managed to goof it up.

Yet, I loved animals. I loved science. I could not completely let it go of it.

Thus, when my mother suggested going back to school, I decided that it was a good idea. At that time, I remember thinking about going to grad school and getting a Masters or PhD. However, I still feared making the wrong decision and wasting other’s time as well as money.

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I went to LaGuardia Community College and started my first (and only) semester in their Animal Technician Program in January of 2012. With certification, I hoped to finally find work with animals and be settled with that.

LaGuardia was a new and much needed experience for me.  I met single parents, young mothers, recent GED students, red-eye shift workers, elderly seniors, and everything far and in-between. They all had one thing in common: they were determined to do better and to reach their dream designation. Most of these people had been through a lot and were going through a lot. But they carried on. 

This made me determined to do my best as well.  So, for a couple of months, I absorbed information and I threw it back up. I excelled in my course.

Yet, I was not happy.

For someone who was accustomed to discussion and asking questions, this way of learning was tedious and not challenging. I missed my friends from Bennington and the interactions I used to have there (I still miss it from time to time).  

Yet, I had students around me that were sweating and clawing their way through the same material.

After far too long, I came to the awful realization that I was very, very entitled. My parents worked hard to make sure I got into the school I wanted. They supported me in everything I did, and I wanted for nothing. I had an imperfect, but high-quality education.  I had all the tools that the students at LaGuardia wished they had and hoped to work towards.

I was supposedly “suffocating” myself not because I had to, but because I was spoiled enough to have a choice to.  Unlike the students of LaGuardia who needed this place to step towards their future, I was using it to shelter my thin skin from the Boogie man. I was lucky enough that the only thing I needed to fear was fear itself. I left LaGuardia after one semester.

Soon after, I got a part-time job at Barnes and Nobles as a bookseller. It gave me enough money to pay for my first few semesters at Hunter College‘s Animal Behavior and Conservation MA Program in 2013. I graduated with my MA in 2016 and, after a rather chaotic round of PhD applications (that is a story in itself), ended up without a PhD program to my name.

It was hard to be denied entry and I would be lying if I did not feel like a humbug scientist again. However, from my experiences, I have learned that it will not last and that I need to be proactive. I cannot condone my elitist ideas, pride or whatever it was that kept me in fear. I cannot keep myself from achieving what I need to do just to maintain an illusion of grandeur.

Most importantly, I need to be patient and put work into getting exactly what I want; not what is safest to get.

I am now working at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum and supporting the next generation. I am developing a project that combines my love for science, art, and education.  I am working on publishing my MA thesis which examined the effects of audio-visual multimodal integration on startle probability in goldfish.

The goal of the project was to investigate the underlying behavioral and physiological mechanisms behind the inverse effectiveness principle of multimodal integration popularized by Stein and Meredith. I am in talks about a PhD program, which looks promising if I can get the funding. I am doing things and, even if it’ll be a bit bumpy, I will get there. I have to keep myself level-headed and ready for anything that comes my way.

After all, even the humbug wizard eventually found his place under the rainbow.

Cover Image by Bruno-Marie on Pixabay

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CivicSciTimes - Stories in Science

Unexpected Stories and Spindle Mistakes: Discovering that Wild-type Cells are Full of Surprises

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Natalie Nannas

Natalie Nannas is an Associate Professor of Biology at Hamilton College in Clinton, NY. She teaches courses in genetics, molecular biology, and bioethics. Dr. Nannas graduated from Grinnell College with bachelor’s degrees in biological chemistry and French. She received her Master’s and PhD from Harvard University in molecular biology and genetics. Dr. Nannas conducted her postdoctoral research at the University of Georgia where she won a National Science Foundation Plant Genome Postdoctoral Fellowship. At Hamilton College, Dr. Nannas enjoys teaching and sharing her passion for microscopy with her undergraduate research students. When not glued to a microscope, she loves spending time with her husband and two daughters. The narrative below by Natalie Nannas captures the human stories behind the science from a 2022 paper titled “Frequent spindle errors require structural rearrangement to complete meiosis in Zea mays” which was published by her group in 2022 in the International Journal of Molecular Sciences.

Science never works out the way we plan. As scientists, we ask questions, hypothesize and outline our goals … then reality of science occurs. The reality of science is often full of failed controls, endless troubleshooting, and sometimes strange findings that lead us in new and unpredictable directions. Our publications give the impression that we planned these scientific journeys from the beginning and do not tell the human side of the process with all of its twists and turns, dead-ends and U-turns. I want to tell you the real story behind my first publication as a faculty member with my own lab. It did not go as planned due to the COVID-19 pandemic. My lab was shut down in the middle of our investigation, and my students and I were unable to generate new data. In the beginning, it seemed like we were stranded with only control data and no story to tell, but the time away from the lab allowed us to spend more time looking carefully at wild-type cells. What seemed like a dead-end suddenly became its own story when we found something unexpected hiding within microscopy movies. Our wild-type cells were making mistakes, attempting fixes and changing directions, just like we do as scientists.

My scientific journey began with flickering green lights and a microscope (you can read more about it here). As an undergraduate, I was mesmerized by the beauty of watching living cells shuffle fluorescently labeled proteins throughout their cytoplasm. I followed this passion for microscopy into my doctoral dissertation research at Harvard University where I investigated how yeast cells build the machinery needed to pull their chromosomes apart. This machinery is a dynamic collection of long protein tubes called microtubules and other organizing proteins that help move and shuffle microtubules. I loved watching the delicate dance of chromosomes interacting with microtubules of the spindle, and I wanted to continue studying this process in my postdoctoral studies.

During postdoctoral studies at the University of Georgia, I won a fellowship from the National Science Foundation to develop a new technique in microscopy. No one had ever watched plants building their spindles in meiosis, the specialized cell division that produces egg and sperm. Other scientists had performed beautiful microscopy studies observing how mitotic spindles function inside of plant cells, but due to the technical challenges, no one had ever observed live plant cells building spindles in meiosis. I was thrilled to take on this challenge by using version of maize that had fluorescently labeled tubulin, the protein that makes up microtubules of the spindle. With this line of maize, spindles would glow fluorescent green, allowing me to image if only I could extract the meiotic cells.

Dr. Natalie Nannas

We were so busy collecting data and prepping for our mutant studies that we never really took time to analyze the wild-type cells.

After almost a year spent dissecting maize plants, I finally managed to develop a method to isolate these tiny cells and keep them alive in a growth media long enough to image them. This new method of live imaging was going to serve as the foundation of my new lab at Hamilton College, a primarily undergraduate institution. With my students, I planned to investigate the pathways governed spindle assembly. Most animal mitotic cells have a structure called a centrosome that dictates how spindles are formed; however, female animal meiotic cells lack these structures and must use other pathways to direct spindle assembly. Plants also lack centrosomes, and I wanted to inhibit these known animal pathways in our plant live imaging system.

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As I set up my lab, my students and I collected live movies of wild-type maize cells building their spindles. I told my students and myself that these movies were not the main event, they were just the control cells so we would have a baseline comparison for our experimental conditions. We were so busy collecting data and prepping for our mutant studies that we never really took the time to analyze the wild-type cells. At the surface level, they built spindles and segregated chromosomes in a generally expected amount of time, so we focused on preparing for our upcoming experiments…. then March 2020 occurred.

The pandemic forced us to slow down and look more carefully at our wild-type data, and I am grateful for the detour.

My students headed home for spring break with a warning that there may be a delay in coming back to campus due to the spread of COVID-19. None of us were prepared for the shutdown that followed. Like many colleges and universities, our campus was closed for the remainder of the spring 2020 semester and the summer of 2020. My students and I began meeting on Zoom, trying to make a new plan for our research. The only data we had to work with were the microscopy of wild-type maize cells, so we decided to spend time digging more deeply into these movies. Originally, we had only measured the total time it took to build a spindle as it would be a baseline for comparison to our mutants. We had not looked carefully at any of the intermediate time points in the assembly process. When my students looked more closely at our movies, they discovered that wild-type cells built an incorrectly shaped spindle over 60% of the time!

We found that maize meiotic cells often built spindles with three poles instead of two, and they had to actively rearrange their spindle structure to correct this mistake. We also found that in these cells, there was a delay in meiosis as cells refused to progress until this correction had been made. This is an exciting discovery as it showed that plants are error-prone in their spindle assembly, much like human female meiotic cells. Our findings also suggested that meiotic cells were monitoring their spindle shape when determining if they should move forward in meiosis. Previous work has shown that cells monitor the attachment of chromosomes to the spindle to make this decision, but our work adds a new dimension, showing that they also monitor spindle shape. As we continued to analyze our videos, we also learned that cells corrected their spindle morphology in a predictable way. They always collapsed the two poles that were closest together, creating a single pole and resulting in a correct bipolar spindle.

The image shows the first page of the paper which can be accessed here.

My students and I had begun our scientific journey planning to breeze over wild-type cells, moving on to what we envisioned would be a more exciting story of spindle mutants. The pandemic forced us to slow down and look more carefully at our wild-type data, and I am grateful for the detour. I rediscovered my love of closely watching flickering green fluorescent lights, the dance of microtubules sliding into place or making missteps and shuffling into new arrangements. Watching life attempt a complicated process, make mistakes, and try again, is a lesson that never grows old. It reminds me that our scientific journeys are just the same, they start in one direction but are fluid and constantly changing, and hopefully, they end with a functional spindle!

Read the Published Paper

Weiss, J.D., McVey, S.L., Stinebaugh, S.E., Sullivan, C.F., Dawe, R.K., and N.J. Nannas. 2022. Frequent spindle errors require structural rearrangement to complete meiosis in Zea maysInternational Journal of Molecular Sciences, 23 (8):4293–4312.

ABOUT: Stories in Science is a special series on the Civic Science Times. The main aim is to document the first-hand accounts of the human stories behind the science being published by scientists around the world. Such stories are an important element behind the civic nature of science.

SUBMISSION: Click here to access the story guidelines and submission portal. Please note that not all stories are accepted for publication. After submission, we will let you know whether we have selected the story for the review process.

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